Diary Defender Gifts

'No, the Patriot Act doesn't make it all right for you to read your sister's diary!'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

Privacy - Surveillance

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

'Jeff is a tackle on his online college football team.'

Professional woman in pub

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

Things that go beep in the night.

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

"That didn't work either! I'm telling you, this is one AGGRESSIVE virus!"

Freedom of Speech

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

'Lost Diary'

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

Bob soon began to hate his new anti-spam software.

Cyberwarfare

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'These computer viruses are getting more and more powerful.'

'What did I ever see in you?' 'Fortunately I wrote it down. 'Jenny thinks I have a super sense of humour.''

"The tricky bit is finding some UK infrastructure that's working to switch it off."

"With all the cybercrimes corporate had to bring in a new guy, Supergeek."

Spam.

I'd rather be phishing.

'Well, I told you not to open that attachment!'

Computer virus

'Remember not to shirk the paperwork.'

'Crusher' Collins: Data custodian by day, data bouncer by night.

Man in office fencing with pieces of paper flying about

Your computer is not fully protected...