Diaper-free Dreamers T-Shirts

"Sure, potty training is your ticket into society, but you lose the primeval freedom of diapers."

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

"I hear you may do a baby."

It was Wilbur's first vacation in 17 years.

'Just think...summer's coming, and everyday will be like Saturday morning!'

The Nihilist Deli.

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Already overworked at the Vlasic Plant, an exhausted stork shatters a young couple's dreams,

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Mum inspects poo'

'When you put on a new nicotene patch you're supposed to take the old ones off!'

"Geez. He's bald. No teeth. And craps in diapers."

"Frank! You're early! I never wanted you to see me like this!!"

Forget what the warden says. If we try to please everyone, we'll end up with an escape plan that pleases no one.

"I believe in eggs, and I think that you all believe in eggs, too!"

"Maybe we should just go ahead and have a kid."

'All the stress of the job went away once I stopped giving a damn.'

"When I count to three you will have given up smoking but you will think you are Elvis Presley."

"Downward Drool" is ok, but if you want something challenging, try "forward-facing full diaper."

'That cat is ruining our sex life-I never know if it's you or the cat who's purring with satisfaction.'

'I didn't have any cavities, but the dentist said I need braces.'

Welcome To Utopia - No phones Past This Point

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave - all of our other customers are lactose intolerant."

'I wish I had that figure.'

"If milk is such a nutritious body-building food, why does she have a body like that?"

'I just felt it kick again, Charlie - I think he's going to be a football superstar!'

"I'm hoping things will turn around. I just signed with a hot new day-care center."

Assisted Reproduction

'Doris, we're getting old and hopefully you'll outlive me so let's have a baby.'

"This increase in lactose-intolerant people is good for us: We can sell more milk..."

"I've done it, dear. I've finally paid off my student loan!"

"Ever since his new year resolution to give up thinking he's been really happy."

"I am sorry about this, my husband is lactose intolerant."

'You know what: Since they locked us up in this cage, I don't really feel like singing anymore. . .'

Baby bumper stickers