Diaper-free Enthusiast T-Shirts

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

The Nihilist Deli.

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

House of Beans - No Smoking.

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Stop Smoking Program.

"You can't smoke here but you can bring in a dirty old ash tray to smell."

Break room - Smoke free, carb free.

"Geez. He's bald. No teeth. And craps in diapers."

"I'm glad you're trying to quit smoking Dr. Jekyll, but the withdrawal symptoms turn you into a completely different person!"

"It's actually a nice change. Before Eddie's business failed we were living in a gilded cage."

"You can be the mom. I want to be the family friend who has plants instead of babies.'

Smoking world.

Congratulations for giving up smoking

No ties.

"I like a little insurance that he won't take breaks during his run. I'll give him a few seconds before I release the dogs."

"Cut down on plastics."

'There's something about beig locked up with a 500-pound gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time'

Plastic is killing the sea

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave - all of our other customers are lactose intolerant."

Plastic pollution

"I told you dairy was bad for your diet!"

'The nicotine patch wasn't working for Ted so his doctor prescribed a full body wrap.'

"You can't find the tobacco display because we replaced it with nicotine patches."

'I represent this laboratory rat. We're suing your tobacco company for $5 billion.'

'It's her ecological footprint.'

"This increase in lactose-intolerant people is good for us: We can sell more milk..."

Baby bumper stickers

"I am sorry about this, my husband is lactose intolerant."

'Smoking or second hand smoking?'

"Sure, potty training is your ticket into society, but you lose the primeval freedom of diapers."

'It creates more interest in the diapering class.'