Dialogue Detective Pillows

'Have you ever noticed that in cartoons the person on the left always talks first?'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

The Tangents talk it over.

"Richard has quite an ear for dialogue."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Meet the Enemy

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

Scouse For Beginners

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"I detect an accent – money?"

Vladimir Putin as Uncle Sam

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'I wish somebody would say something.'

"You arrive early, You work hard, You stay focused. What's your game?"

"Dogs can detect cancer, and mice can detect tuberculosis."

"What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?"

Cowboy on horse sees diretion sign for 'thataway'.

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

''Pop'? In my part of the country they're called a 'Soda-Tart'.'

'Darling - have I ever told you how much you love me. . .?'

'Oh, that is so simplistic. Why must you always see the world in black and white?'

'Well you can tell Dr. Zimler that you don't have Dalnik's syndrome, and, in fact, I think you have Zimler's syndrome.'

"The nomenclature of 'political correctness' is devisive and opens the profession to ridicule!"

"You've always been a poor listener Harold."

'Britain's filthiest restaurant!'

'My course covers all the dead languages.'

'We may be old but the supermarket's automatic doors still acknowledge our existence, so we still matter.'

"It appears the pain is caused by your acupuncture treatments."