Dialogue Detective Gifts

'Have you ever noticed that in cartoons the person on the left always talks first?'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Another powerful man uses his position to sexually harass women. At least it's better than back in your day, right? I wouldn't know. You see, the ladies didn't talk much about that, except to say Mr. So-and-So was a cad, or Mr. So-and-So was all hands. And the fellas didn't talk about it either. Except to say Ms. So-and-So was stuck up, or Ms So-and-So was frigid. It's like your generation was talking in code. You knew it was serious when Ms. So-and-So said Mr. So-and-So did this-and-that.

The Tangents talk it over.

"Richard has quite an ear for dialogue."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Meet the Enemy

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

Scouse For Beginners

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Vladimir Putin as Uncle Sam

"I detect an accent – money?"

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'I wish somebody would say something.'

"You arrive early, You work hard, You stay focused. What's your game?"

"Dogs can detect cancer, and mice can detect tuberculosis."

"What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?"

Cowboy on horse sees diretion sign for 'thataway'.

''Pop'? In my part of the country they're called a 'Soda-Tart'.'

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

"The nomenclature of 'political correctness' is devisive and opens the profession to ridicule!"

'Well you can tell Dr. Zimler that you don't have Dalnik's syndrome, and, in fact, I think you have Zimler's syndrome.'

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

'Darling - have I ever told you how much you love me. . .?'

'Oh, that is so simplistic. Why must you always see the world in black and white?'

"You've always been a poor listener Harold."

'Britain's filthiest restaurant!'