Devilishly Humored Pillows

"The bastards!"

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

"Any references?"

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

Going Down?

Meowlzebub

Demonic Repossession.

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

Bat out of Hell

Hellbillies.

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

"Okay, come at me in a conga line."

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Heaven and Hell

Gas Bill

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

Publish and Be Damned

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

'You were supposed to place it in a cool spot, sir.'

A Heated Argument

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'

The Neighbours from Hell....

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

"Cultural diversity is all very well, but our immigration officers don't have to put up with their bloody harp picking 24 hours a day!"

The lessor of two evils.

'Okay, buddy, where's the fire?'