Devilishly Fun Humor Pillows

"I can't eat anything spicy."

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

"Any references?"

Meowlzebub

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

Going Down?

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

Demonic Repossession.

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

Bat out of Hell

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

Hellbillies.

"So much for eternal rest."

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"Okay, come at me in a conga line."

Gas Bill

Heaven and Hell

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Publish and Be Damned

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

'You were supposed to place it in a cool spot, sir.'

Swelling

The Neighbours from Hell....

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

A Heated Argument

The lessor of two evils.