Devilishly Fun Humor Pillows

"I can't eat anything spicy."

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

"Any references?"

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

Going Down?

Meowlzebub

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

Demonic Repossession.

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

Bat out of Hell

Hellbillies.

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

Gas Bill

Heaven and Hell

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

"So much for eternal rest."

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"Okay, come at me in a conga line."

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Publish and Be Damned

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

'You were supposed to place it in a cool spot, sir.'

The lessor of two evils.

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

"Cultural diversity is all very well, but our immigration officers don't have to put up with their bloody harp picking 24 hours a day!"

The Neighbours from Hell....

Swelling

A Heated Argument

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'