Devilishly Humorous Person Pillows

Fire Regulations in Hell

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

Meowlzebub

"Any references?"

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"Must we have ten minutes blasphemy every night?"

Going Down?

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

Demonic Repossession.

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

Hellbillies.

Bat out of Hell

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

Heaven and Hell

Gas Bill

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"Okay, come at me in a conga line."

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

Publish and Be Damned

"You'll be in charge of the music down here."

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

'You were supposed to place it in a cool spot, sir.'

The lessor of two evils.

A Heated Argument

The Neighbours from Hell....

"Cultural diversity is all very well, but our immigration officers don't have to put up with their bloody harp picking 24 hours a day!"

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'