Device-dependent Athlete Gifts

City Marathon.

21st century water cooler conversations.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

'Is this the new input device?'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

Putting Practice.

Fur Baby

'Jeff is a tackle on his online college football team.'

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

'Our gymnasium is being repaired so we played sports games on our computers.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

Indoor Football

'Pause your games, kids! There's a high fly ball deep to center field!'

"I'm sure you may need your phone, portable charger, laptop, iPad, Xbox, and music player. But we're only going to the mailbox."

'Sorry, Dad. My offensive lineman says I don't have to go to bed yet.'

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

'You've been on that Video Game all Day. Go outside and play.'

'Don't you miss the thrill of the chase?'

50% looking at phone, 50% looking for phone

'O.K. lads, computer research shows this is the new winning plan to win the match.'

"Hold on, the puck is coming this way."

Consumer care and technologies

I got you a 20th anniversary present. An iPhone charger? An actual, real gift? What's the catch? House of Java Cybercafe. No catch. For the last 20 years, you've been the best whipping boy I've ever had. You're a complete tool of the technology industry. You've been a real pleasure to mock. In fact, the last 20 years of making fun of your pathetic life has made this two rewarding decades. Plug back in, whipping boy! I will outlast you, smelly old bat!

'There's no WiFi, the phones out of range and the TV doesn't work. Our weekend getaway is ruined!'

'How can you call yourself a workaholic if you don't even have a Blackberry Thumb?'

Sports and new technologies

MLB 2020

"I don't mind them sending me to my room, but then they shut down my wifi."

'Fighting broke out today in Silicon Valley between PC aficionados and Mac owners...'

"Too much information."