Developing A Sitcom Pillows

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

Zombie standup

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

The post-menopause luncheon's unintentional comedy act.

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

"this week on, 'Celebrity Fear Factor,' contestants are threatened with total anonymity."

'Yes sire, we are dealing with your invoice at this very minute.'

'Excluding our little granddaughter who called me 'orrible old smellypops!'

Norman Fell

How's the writer's block?

"Congratulations! It's a sitcom!"

Mensans Behaving Badly

"Try to remember to flex your ankles and if possible walk up and down the room."

Further Sanctions

'… the professor and Mary Ann, here on Gilligan's Isle.'

'Did I ever tell you that I had a TV show idea called 'Super Nanny' years before this one?. . . Except mine was about a crime-fighting goat.'

Larry David and Cheryl Hines.

Cull TV producers who think programs are improved by putting scrolling notices at the bottom of the screen.

'...And now, welcome to the 'All I Love Lucy, All the Time' channel....'

'We'll forget about it this time, Hopkins. I've been known to overlook things myself.'

Prisoner escape

Gilligan's Elevator.

I heard that Rex Morgan, M.D. is in the hospital

"Maybe the new neighbors know something we don’t."

'Gervaisaphobia': The feeling that Ricky Gervais is everywhere.

Canned laughter