Watching Sitcoms Pillows

"We'd like you to be the quirky but lovable teen-age daughter,"

"Maybe the new neighbors know something we don’t."

Gilligan's Elevator.

'...And now, welcome to the 'All I Love Lucy, All the Time' channel....'

'Excluding our little granddaughter who called me 'orrible old smellypops!'

'I don't have to laugh...the show laughs at itself...'

'Your Honor, my client developed situational ethics because his parents allowed him to watch too many situation comedies.'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

Pet Entertainers

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

'We've got a 50 inch hd lcd 3d t.v with 200 channels and there's nothing on.'

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"

BLEAK PROSPECTS: DOWNSIZING FOR THE NINETIES

Mobster Dogs Burying Bones

Act as though you're in a screwball comedy.

"Just watching old stuff from 2019."

"Last night we watched three movies back to back. I was the one facing the telly."

"C-Span is our reality television."