Developer Conference Gifts

Open Source.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

The Computer Bore

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Inclusive speech

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

The interested bystanders.

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

Back to work...

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

Networking

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

Friday

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

Mark Zuckerberg

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"