Detention Pro Pillows

"I was acquitted."

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

Tax Preparer. I'm working on my client's tax returns. Mars, being the "red planet," is claiming a business operating loss. Jupiter, with all those moons, takes deductions for almost 70 dependents. And earth has no new nations this year ... so no "capitol gains" to declare. Did Mercury lower his taxes? Yeah, he's eligible for a huge solar energy tax credit!

"I was totally embarrassed at school today! Miss Lopez yelled at me in math class."

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

No, he wants the other one … No, not that one … No, to your right … No, above that one …

'My teacher says if I made bad grades, I'm spending too much time in front of the TV. I say if I made good grades, I'm spending too much time at school.'

"Oh, I'm okay. This is just my resting zoom face."

"Right, the first thing we're going to practise is rolling around, clutching our legs and crying in the penalty box."

'We should try harder to behave. We're wearing a rut in this floor.'

"Watch this bloke, lads, if there's a hole in the wall he'll find it."

I just can't take it anymore!

Footballer.

"Er...Eric..."

'The England players couldn't stop scoring when they were practising penalties. . .But that might have been because they were practising with a goalkeeper who couldn't save them.'

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

"My teacher wants to talk to you? Wow. What did you do wrong?"

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

'Since I put you on report Tuesday, Simkins, I've collected this lot!'

'It's not my fault I'm here again. I'm the victim of typecasting.'

Spot the Ball Live

'What? It's not my fault you're banned from class and it's definitely not my fault that Mrs. Banks is celebrating it.'

"Oh, I know full well he remembers the school rules! He just chooses to ignore them!"

"The principal's leaving early today, Phillip, so go to the office now, and you can act up later."

"Hold up! I think that's one of their mannequins."

I Will Not Text In Class # Mean Teacher

'I told the dean I couldn't go to detention because I have detention-deficit-disorder, and he bought it!'

'I've been sent to the Principal's office before, but this is the first time I've ever been subpoenaed!'

'This is called detention... it's not a hostage situation.'