Detention Heroes Pillows

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

"I was totally embarrassed at school today! Miss Lopez yelled at me in math class."

"Wake up, it's Spring and we forgot to vote!"

"Who would've thought Ms. Marcus had so little sense of humor?"

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

'My teacher says if I made bad grades, I'm spending too much time in front of the TV. I say if I made good grades, I'm spending too much time at school.'

"I was acquitted."

"To think just a few weeks ago he was a lazy bum and now he's saving the world!"

I just can't take it anymore!

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

'Since I put you on report Tuesday, Simkins, I've collected this lot!'

"I caught him using Google Maps to look out our classroom windows."

"Yeah, but it's okay because they'll never take me alive again."

The good news is, I'm granting your request for house arrest. The bad news is your wife's to-do list.

"Don't even think about letting them in until the house is dirty again."

"I guess you've heard bad spin about me."

Children on harnesses being pulled apart by their mothers.

"When you said every single one of us without exception, did you mean me too?"

"I spend a lot of time in there."

"So where have you been?"

'This is called detention... it's not a hostage situation.'

"Ugh, I'm too hungover for salvation-come back later."

'That's the last time I ever let you try to fix the microwave.'

House.

'You know the rule, Billy. Get two technical fouls in a school day and you are expelled.'

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

"Son, your teacher tells me you have sinned."

Habits vs. New Year's Resolutions

"Stop me if you've heard this before."

'I realise it's tough giving up smoking, but you only gave up an hour ago!'