Destiny Diner Pillows

"There could be a table in your future - or - dessert in someone else's."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Bad for you but to die for

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Countervailing Clichés.

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'How is the water prepared?'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"The bagels are better in New York."

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'How would you like your toast?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

Zagat Rated.

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"A votre sante!"

A train's dining car is a diner.

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'You made me jump,'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"It's made with real angel hair."