Dessert Guardian Pillows

'You were supposed to guard my dessert.'

Diner.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'He made an excellent jelly.'

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

Doughnut Making

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"How come we never have 'Baked Alaska'?"

'I told you not to order the chocolate cream surprise.'

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

'... Of course, I had to train for this job. I went to sundae school.'

"Don't tell anyone, but I'll have the devil's food cake."

Dessert

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"Are you ready now for your "Bomb Surprise" dessert?"

"And for dessert we offer death by chocolate, after life sponge, or the damned for eternity tart."

'You hate to see this kind of thing.'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

After conquering Baked Alaska, Mount Bakewell was a piece of cake.

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

"It's a generally positive report with a few disturbing elements...much like the tapioca pudding in the cafeteria."

'Cool! You made chocolate covered ants.'

"Thanks, but there's really nothing to do while the meat's smoking."

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

Be afraid. Be very afraid.