Dessert Guardian T-Shirts

'You were supposed to guard my dessert.'

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

Diner.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'He made an excellent jelly.'

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

Doughnut Making

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"How come we never have 'Baked Alaska'?"

'I told you not to order the chocolate cream surprise.'

'... Of course, I had to train for this job. I went to sundae school.'

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

'It's the new iPed. It's a pedometer, a GPS, and it has apps that show you the nearest ice cream parlors and dessert shops.'

"Don't tell anyone, but I'll have the devil's food cake."

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Dessert

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

'You hate to see this kind of thing.'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

"It's a generally positive report with a few disturbing elements...much like the tapioca pudding in the cafeteria."

After conquering Baked Alaska, Mount Bakewell was a piece of cake.

"Are you ready now for your "Bomb Surprise" dessert?"

"And for dessert we offer death by chocolate, after life sponge, or the damned for eternity tart."

'Cool! You made chocolate covered ants.'

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

"Thanks, but there's really nothing to do while the meat's smoking."