Dessert Diplomat T-Shirts

"I'll need you to sign this binding agreement that you acknowledge you said no, you didn't want any dessert, and that you give up all claim to mine."

"You know, you could have just said that you wanted that last piece of pie, dear!"

'I like your product, but I'm not sure if I like you, but I'm prepared to offer you the full money, but I'm going to want in return extra raspberry sauce'

"How about all my desserts for a week, and I take out the garbage?"

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"I believe I'll skip the appetizer. I ate the flowers."

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."