Donut Diplomat T-Shirts

"Your Honor, may it please the court, I brought donuts!"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Excess Baggage: If you can draw, you don't have to know the local language.

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

Landing That Tough Account

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"