Desk Leaper Gifts

Happy Retirement!

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Golfing Boss

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

Multi-tasking.

Organization is not rocket science!

My brilliant career

Shake it all about sign on desk

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

In case of emergency, break glass.

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

(No caption. Signs on file cabinets drawers read, "Files Saved to Hard Drive," "Files Saved to Disk," "Files Saved to Traveldrive," "Trash.")

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

'I admit I was asleep, sir, but I was dreaming that I was working!'

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

The weightless office.

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

"Sometimes, when business is brisk, I have to settle for no nap at all."

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'Sometimes I wonder what I's do without you!'

"We need a better piling system."

Al, The Go-From Guy