Desk Hoppers Gifts

My brilliant career

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Golfing Boss

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"Morning, all!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

Multi-tasking.

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Time for More Paperwork

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

National Boss Monument.

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Lumbar support animal

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

"I feel your pain."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

Busy office.

"We should have taken the cubicles."