Desk Job Denizen Gifts

Death By Meeting

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Out and In.

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"Does it count it after an 80 hour week he's here in body but his mind is off in La La land?"

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

Working 9 to 5.

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

Inkwell Genie.

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

'What does L.B.W. mean?'

Whack, Out of Whack.

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

'Hard day at work, dear?'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

'While you were out I replaced you.'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

Boxes marked 'In', 'Out' and 'How did this end up on my desk?'

'Remember, Preston, all work and no play make you employed.'

'Be a sweetie and get me a cup of coffee!'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"The first of many cubicles..."