Desk Dealer Gifts

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Morning, all!"

Time for More Paperwork

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

National Boss Monument.

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"I feel your pain."

Lumbar support animal

In case of emergency, break glass.

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"We should have taken the cubicles."