Descendants Gifts

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Young Frankenstein"

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Bond James, Bond."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Skipping Horse

Computer Room.

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Grace For Flies

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

At the Museum

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Football Fans

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

A young Don King

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."