Deputies Gifts

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

In basket-case.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Morning, all!"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Good Luck!

God's Subcontractors

Shake it all about sign on desk

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to far, go together." - African proverb.

"....how many kids have we got now?"

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

"Do you have an appointment?"

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

A clerk asking for time off to get married.

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Not much money, glory, or praise

InIn by-products.

In - Out - Pending.

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

"My assistant will show you the ropes."

"Missing a call is no excuse for eating your assistant."

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"I've been thinking, but I'm going to stop."