Dentist Day Gifts

'Ok, well I can give you a full teeth examination, but I suspect that they're all rotten.'

'If it starts to hurt, just wiggle your ears.'

Polly txt speak

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

The tooth fairy.

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'Super Dog'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Medical personnel give their hearts

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"All my symptoms are old ... "

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'