Dentist's Day Gifts

Dentist checking a piranha.

'That was a tough one.' Dentist fell on the ground

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

The tooth fairy.

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Medical personnel give their hearts

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"All my symptoms are old ... "

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'