Dentist's Day Gifts

Dentist checking a piranha.

'That was a tough one.' Dentist fell on the ground

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

The tooth fairy.

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Medical personnel give their hearts

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'