Den Decorator Gifts

"Most realistic decoy I've ever seen!"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Painting by the numbers for adults

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

Unfinished Funiture Store.

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

The Pencil and Sharpener

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

Face Painting.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'