Demonstration Disciple Gifts

"At least we've got a nice day for it..!"

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Moses on the web

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"I brought cocoa."

God's Phone

"I have an app for that."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

Way too much anthropomorphising

'Does it come on Disc?'

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'We've lost the ability to fly Dad: To fly! How is that evolution?'

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

You Have 1 New Messages

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'