Demonstrations Gifts

'This is the most positive thing I've done all year.'

Placard reads: 'It's a sign'.

"I brought cocoa."

Mouse Protest

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Any questions?"

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

Party Animals.

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

Lethal Presentation

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'