Demonic Diplomacy Gifts

We called this meeting to decide your torture, Mr. Jones. Then we realized we could kill two birds with one stone by making this meeting eternal.

ZOOM 'n' GLOOM.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

"We're too tired to argue. Let's let Siri and Alexa handle this for us."

I demand to see a lawyer. May I say, you've come to the right place.

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

You're so demanding, run it yourself!

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'All right. Who's in charge around here?'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

'Click 'Like' even if you don't, but are afraid your friends will get mad if you don't.'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You OK in there?" "I think I'm dying here." "What? D'you need me to call 911?" "I don't think that'll help." "I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city." "Get off your phone!!!" "I'm saving a kingdom here! It's important!"

Anglo-Russian Trade Rivalry in China

Leadership in the Covid-19 era