Delusion Appreciator Gifts

'You're completely delusional, Mr. Bloom. And therein lies your charm.'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Trump! The Musical

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

Night of the Zombonies.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

'Oh Hi!'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

Barcode Dreams

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"Steamed vegetables."

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

Russia Money Laundering

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"Amateurs."