Delivery Service Critic T-Shirts

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

Thank you, Essential Workers

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."

North Pole twinned with Amazon

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

Wine of the Day Club

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

Up your end.

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'Such work commitment has to be rewarded: The ticket is free Sir...'

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'

Already overworked at the Vlasic Plant, an exhausted stork shatters a young couple's dreams,

"We emphasize personal service. Our broker-client ratio is three to one."

"Sorry for the wait - I hope it wasn't too long."

"Yes, we've accepted late deliveries before... but 75 years!!!"

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street!"

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

"I hope this thing is free-range!"

Too much packaging

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

"Mr. Nwachuku?", "Extra dressing on the side?"

"It's a new bank policy, sir - Transactions under $500 just aren't worth our while."

'Ladies and Gentlemen we regret to announce there will be a slight delay to your flight.'

"Hmm, great! - no sign of that dog..."

Will take headphones off and stop ignoring people at...

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

"That salesman was right. This company does ship orders fast!"

Working hard to maintain customer relations

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'