Delicate Collector T-Shirts

"Your wife collects stamps! That's nothing, mine collects fine china! You have no idea how stressful it is for me..."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Director/Action Man toy.

Packaging Russian Dolls

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"You're on a what?!"

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Raincloud Umbrella

Duck Hunt

Thinks he's too cool for school.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Early cyborg.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Best before 65 million BC.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

King Kongs first christmas

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

Ice shelfie.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters