Fine Collector T-Shirts

"We were able to build this nice, new library when Mr. Comstock paid all of his overdue book fines,"

Great Chinese Dynasties

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"You're on a what?!"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Jazz is Invented

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

Six jazz instruments.

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Posh Easter Egg

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Doulton Canada Geese

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

'It's nice but will it be a hedge against inflation.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Over-reaction Man.

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

"I wonder what this was for."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

The dead sea scrolls

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'How old is this vase?'

'I offer a service to combat your employees' afternoon drowsiness.'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."