China Collector T-Shirts

Mum's love of china had reached critical levels.

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

Waterford Wedgwood in receivership.

You should have seen the evil looks I was getting in the china shop where I bought this!

'Oh, ignore them darling, that's just my communist China.'

Antiques - Spode-u-like.

Doulton Canada Geese

Bull In a china shop

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I love these old decorations!"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Posh Easter Egg

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

Over-reaction Man.

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

Acme Flyswatters.

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."