Defier Of Time Gifts

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Well, guys... I guess we'll just have to ask Siri where we are." "No! Don't do that!" "Yeah! We know exactly what we're doing!" "Dude! Have you forgotten our credo?" "Society for the refusal to ask for directions."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

Zoom Wedding

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'If this is your true age, then you're the youngest case of senility I've ever seen.'

If middle-age birthday cards were honest...

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

Tragedy and Remedy.

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

Old Biker: Now that I'm a real biker, all the old babes will want my body.

'I want something to make me look younger.'

'IF this is your true age, then you're the youngest case of senility I've ever encountered.'

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

"I say if he wants to take up ballet, we should let him."

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

"Sign here that you acknowledge the risks."

My birthday suit is out of fashion.

Gym. Stay young through diet and exercise. I find it much easier to just lie about my age.

'The kid is being tried as an adult. The old man is in his second childhood, so he's being tried as a juvenile.'

Caution - Low gravity zone.

'Are we birds? Are these wings? Well, let's get rid of this idea that we can't fly!'

'Who are you?' 'Your wife for 57 years back from plastic surgery!'

"Well it's not the BEST facelift but what can you expect for $25."

If I write 35 today I'll be had up under Trades Descriptions - she's 50 if she's a day!

'You ask him to sing. I don't speak Italian.'

Methuselah shoots his age.

Life and Death.

"Why are you smiling?"