Dedicated Scholar Gifts

Burning the midnight oil.

'I solve so many work problems at home.'

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

COVID Devotion

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

"Edgar isn't here. He's working out with the Dallas Cowboys."

Books on running a successful school,

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

No room to hang his diploma.

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"My one regret is that I didn't spend more quality time with my office."

Turning with mathematical precision.

"Dad, I studied really hard! I stayed up till 1 in the morning."

Sign by school library reads: 'Passing Lane'

Graduation Creation of Adam

'And a second degree in Australian studies.'

The unknown soldier: war grave.

'Mrs. Wayne was so excited about getting her masters in physical science, she took a quantum leap!'

Divinity School - Authorized Parsons Only

Desk sale

'D'ya wanna wait until it thaws to see if it drops in the hole.'

'Please sir, I did give you the correct answer. But, you gave me the wrong question.'

Bob worked hard to avoid the spotlight.

'I hope that is not too much of an inconvenience for you, but I'm desperate to hold on to good teachers.'

Obsessive violinist.

Cellist having a shower

Tax Simplification made simple

'How to Eat while Reading' and 'How to Read while Eating'.

'I think my teacher is very devoted. She always says she's more interested in the outcome than her income.'

'I do about 3 hours a day.'...'What's homework?'

'Al Gore in 2004' Campaign Headquarters: 'The US needs a regime change!'

'I'm pretty sure I'm just seeing you due to bad eggnog, but still, as a principal I try to keep school costs down so I was wondering if you'd deliver these report cards while on your rounds?'

Express Lane: 10 or less quibbles about grades