Decoy Enthusiast Pillows

"Yeah, it's a decoy: You'd better stay safely hidden for a while..."

'My daughter made me a decoy for Father's Day. It would break her heart if I didn't use it.'

"Young Frankenstein"

Self help acupuncture

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Painting the Ceiling

Tool Box

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Do it yourself books.

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'