Decorator In Training Gifts

Little girl curling the mane of her father's lion hunting trophy.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

Face Painting.

Moving in

"I'm starting to think stripes."

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

'Quick, press control Z!'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Redecorating Easter Island.

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

'Here you are. I got tired of making you endless cups of tea..!'

Pea green

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."

Early cave painters

Curtains haberdashery

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

Pollock Painting Company