Decorative Arts Gifts

Oh, look! It's a memo about Valentine's Day!

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

"It's actually a nice change. Before Eddie's business failed we were living in a gilded cage."

"I'm afraid your brain scan indicates that squishy stringy seed mush in your head was replaced with a candle."

"Someday we will escape from this prison."

The Fruit Bearers - For Beardsley's Story 'Under the Hill'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Santa Claus's Mail

Cocktails on the verandah.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Painting by the numbers for adults

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Christmas Tree

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Happy Easter

Piranhaclaus

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Painting the Ceiling

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'