Decorative Artisan T-Shirts

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Face Painting.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Redecorating Easter Island.

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

'Quick, press control Z!'

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"Love your feng shui!"

"How are we on bread?"

Pea green

'Here you are. I got tired of making you endless cups of tea..!'

Pollock Painting Company

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

Early cave painters

Curtains haberdashery

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."