Artsy Decorator T-Shirts

'The degrees? They're phony! I just like to show off what I made in the framing course I took.'

"Gosh, Bob, I just LOVE the dynamic interplay between the new wall color and the accents of pandemic-era psychosis!"

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

Filet minion

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Shelter Cat Nap

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

The Hammer

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

Yard Sale

"Can that be right?"

Pinata Trophies

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

Hunter in stand in a Christmas tree tied to a car.

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

"I'll bet there's a story there."

Lad to man behind desk: 'I notice your fish is 10 times larger than your picture of me!!'

Jackson Pollock the Spider