Artful Decorator T-Shirts

'. . . as shelves go it's okay - but I like to feel that my best work is ahead of me!'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Painting the Ceiling

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Filet minion

Shelter Cat Nap

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

The Hammer

Yard Sale

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"Can that be right?"

Pinata Trophies

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

Face Painting.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Redecorating Easter Island.

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"