Decoration Divas Gifts

Floyd Foinsapp loses himself in the holiday season.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"Home depot."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

Framed Lady

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

Texturing the Walls

'At least I never have to straighten it out.'

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Kensington Fluffies

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Lemon centerpieces: $50 each

'Wait! Those shoes are perfect to wear just once...!'

"I'll never understand wallpaper."

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

Artist chained to his drawing.

Curtains haberdashery

"Well I have to go, my ride is here."

The quarantine self cut.

'Amazing! But when we go on holiday one suitcase is too heavy for you.'

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

Home Maintenance - Decorating.

"I only need two tools: WD-40 if something doesn't move that should, and duct tape if something moves that shouldn't!"

Washing Machine Torture