Decor Dilettante Gifts

"I like to sit here and look at all the things I don't have."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

Mrs. H.G.Wells.

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

The Salvador Deli

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

'Erm...I ordered the omlette!'

"Past performance is no guarantee of future results."

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

The singles bar...

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

"I don't care what his name was. When I said I needed a Philips head, I meant a screwdriver you idiot!"

"Why is living my best life so fattening?"

'You don't do faith healing do you?'

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'

"You are headed south. Your destination is straight ahead."

Time Out Room

Prisoner to other: 'But what I actually ended up doing was consolidating all my debts into one ten-year sentence.'

'Dressage? But Son, what about something more virile like Rodeo or Polo?'

IRS. Pay Taxes Here. It's the amount owe

'If you want somewhere quiet and without crowds...I recommend Greece.'

Novice plumbers replacing a washer in a leaky faucet.

'Lucifer casts out into Hell'

'I don't need a GPS. I'm guided by greed.'

Man paints himself into corner.

"...I have no idea how to make cheese."

'I asked them to behave like adults, and they ranted, they raved, and they cussed a blue streak!'

'Harold has been complaining about loose dentures lately.'

Surviving the credit storm.

'College textbooks sure are expensive. Luckily, I saved a fortune by using eTexts. Now I have to see if I can buy used eTexts.'

'If you must give me withering glances, could you focus on me and spare the plants?'

'What happened between design and development?'