Debugging Expert Gifts

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

"Have you tried turning it off and back on?"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"I think we could work very well together."

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

'Home office' worker's house with cable going to 'Office services companies'

"I can't stand this new hardware. It's much harder than the old hardware."

"Camera not working."

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

'You want to discuss the glitches in the software I sent you? No, Tuesday's out - how about never - is never okay?'

'Sir, we've drilled so deep this time that we've reached Arab oil.'

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

US Camouflage School

'Don't give up Albert - one of these cans has to have tuna in it!'

'The computer mentions 'virus' but I'm not sure whether it's in the software or you.'

"When this is all over I'll be nice to people."

"He's got a photographic memory."

Introvert Career Faire.

"You have reached technical support...your call is important to us so please stay on the line..."

"Ok, one finger means fastball, two fingers means curve, three fingers means changeup...and quite often I'll flash you the middle finger, because I've always hated your guts!"

'Yes - He's armed.'

An employee of a school for spies, reads a top secret document as the photo/ painting of the schools founder peeks over his shoulder.

"I can't get the thingamabob to connect with the whatzadoodle. Who should I call?"

"I experienced a rare moment of inner peace and solitary introspection, so of course I had to post a selfie."

"I looked up my symptoms on the Internet and I think I've got bovine spongiform encephalitis."

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles - we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts!'

'What do you mean you keep getting 'The number you want is busy' ?'