Debtors Club Survivor Gifts

U of Debt

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

"The chairman said he wanted to see you when you got out of hospital."

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

'Look at my new overdraft its fantastic.'

In the red

'Considering my student debt, I felt it prudent to specialize in bankruptcy law,'

'You need to alter your portfolio allocation. Right now it's 25% stocks, 15% bonds and 60% margin loans.'

'I'm working on a ten year degree. Four years in school, and six years to pay off my student loans.'

'Maybe framed copies of your mortgage, auto loan, and tuition loans are too much of a motivator. Maybe you need a financial planner.'

Borrowed 200K for mime school

"You'll probably quite enjoy your bleak old age..."

'Our cries of Armageddon were completely ignored, so let's just keep throwing money at the economy.'

'I think that's enough enlightenment for now Tim!'

'That concludes the list of students with outstanding grades. And now for those of you with outstanding student loan payments...'

"OK, I'll go to my room, but one day I'll get back at you by going to college and putting you into deep financial debt."

College tuition fees.

'We've got to think about our lending policy for small businesses... Like my tailor!'

'My balloon mortgage blew up in my face!'

"My accountant says I'm going through the five stages of denial about my financial situation."

Graduate receives a tax bill instead of a diploma

'You're lucky your car's only being repossessed. Mine's possessed and I have to call an exorcist.'

"It must have been nice to get spotted all those medical school loans."

'Any chance of a bailout?'

Book: The Borrowers - debt.

A man gets attacked by his credit report.

'To be honest, Dan, I feel kind of embarrassed to use an attorney to collect my felinquent accounts. . . So many of them ARE attorneys.'

ACME LOAN COMPANY, 'YOU ONLY GO AROUND ONCE!'

"Will you be passing on the cut in the Bank of England base rate?"

Graduate is handed a bill with her degree certificate.