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'I borrowed so much money to buy this thing I have to time share it with the bank manager!'

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

'I think you need to reboot your fiscal compass.'

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

'They've dealyed our IPO so long that we've gone from intending to open a chain of pre-schools to opening a chain of nursing homes.'

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

"Thanks for that."

"No, Phil, I'm not grateful that we finally have some time alone."

"Do you, Amanda and John, promise to watch yourselves, mind your Ps and Qs, and generally step on eggshells in this marriage, in order to somehow keep it up and running for as long as possible?"

"Well, the first reactions to the terrible truth are anger and sadness, but now it's time to act like men!"

'I'm sorry but I need my own space.'

I think I can...

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

"It's not all your fault, some of it is my mother's!"

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

"I don't understand... I've scientifically proven that you were wrong. How can you still be mad at me?"

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

"Once we're all vaccinated, will you still want to spend every waking moment together?"

'I feel like I just don't know you anymore, Richard!'

'In defense of forgetting our anniversary, I forgot we're married.'

'Jeremy, why can't we talk instead of you bottling things up all the time?'

'Inform him I dislike it when he uses the dog to communicate.'

"It's time to break up the company!!"

"He's not gonna lose it tonight."

'Let's take this step by step -- first, I want you to recognize each other's right to exist.'

"I deliberately married an archaeologist because I thought the older I got, the more interest you would show in me..."

"Are you trying to tell me something, dearest?"

"What do you mean you want to slow things down?"

"We just don't seem to make time for one another these days."