Deathly Humorist Pillows

A look ahead

Zombie standup

"You're going to hate yourself."

End the Winter Blues

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

Tim Burton

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

"You run into a window, too?"

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

"Death coach..."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Meowlzebub

Chuck didn't care what his therapist said; that is not where he left his dummy.

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

"Perfect! By the way, I'm a huge fan of your movies!"

"I'll have whatever they're having."

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

Special Place in Hell...

"Okay, come at me in a conga line."

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'All right. Who's in charge around here?'

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

"Now that you've been given the vaccine, let us know if you start craving raw meat."

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Martha, I've just discovered where Uncle George has gotten to"

'Tastes like it's been stored next to a blazing furnace for twenty years - Perfect!'

"My name's Karezog, Despoiler of Worlds, Devourer of Souls. I'll be your server tonight."